It’s true, today we live in a time where the pace of living and the pace of fulfilment are all about speed and instant gratification. We want what we want, and we usually want it now!
Struck recently by circumstances that have put both a literal and metaphorical pause on my ability to ‘get up and go’ as I once may have (at least for a good few months), the enforced pause leads me to reflect. As I move through the highs and lows of the day by day of a post-surgical recovery, I find a new power in this enforced pause and in the virtue of patience.
On the occasions where mental angst surrounding my current physical limitation gets the better of me and sees me defer to the reactive mode of ‘pushing’ that I am known to do, I find myself repeatedly being brought back to the grounding and pause, of ‘one day at a time’. A reminder that some things just can’t be rushed (pain is definitely a powerful motivator there ;-0), and that there’s value in just being with something and patiently breathing into the process of ‘what is’.
When we encounter setbacks, delays or difficult circumstances, it can be tempting to just react. We often go to impulsivity and may even feel compelled to just give up. A kind of knee-jerk reaction. Yet patience teaches us to embrace the process, and the understanding that change, growth and progress take time. Aka, healing and recovery, for me currently!
As we develop and strengthen our resilience to endure, we move from overwhelm and uncertainty to trust that with time, things will improve. Patience is a virtue that can help us to de-stress from a situation, deflate frustration and deepen our personal growth and understanding. It sees us navigate life’s inevitable challenges with more grace and resilience.
Patience also helps us to strengthen relationships as we foster empathy and understanding where others are concerned too. When we are patient, we are likely to listen more attentively and understand other’s perspectives better. We approach any potential conflicts or discord with more calm than irritation.
To be transparent on this point – I’ve definitely been deepening my own understanding of this point. As my circle of helpers seek to be helpful during my recovery - discord has occasionally made its’ way into the mix. When patience was front and centre, we could navigate disagreements in a more composed and constructive manner.
Success with anything rarely happens overnight and will likely require some degree of patience to see whatever outcome to fruition. Many of life’s most rewarding things, will require even greater volumes of patience. Yet the challenge of discouragement through not seeing immediate results is very real indeed, and it’s easy to swing from ‘respond to react’.
Here are some tips to cultivating more patience:
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When impatience or frustration strike, try to take a few moments to pause and breathe deeply. Inhale slowly, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale completely. Focusing on your breathing is grounding and presencing. It calms the mind and brings you back to the now. It averts knee-jerk reactions and invokes more thoughtfulness versus impulsivity.
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3. Reframe Delays as Opportunities
Instead of being annoyed, seek to embrace the time for mindfulness and reflection. Use the space to check in with yourself, give yourself a pep talk, observe what’s around you or remember something uplifting. This change in perspective can transform frustration into peaceful acceptance.
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4. Break Large Goals into Small Steps
A key reason for losing patience is a focus on the end result or outcome, rather than the steps to get there. To avoid feeling overwhelmed or stuck, large goals broken into smaller pieces enhance and highlight your progress. No matter how slow, any accomplishment is a step forward.
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5. Reduce Multitasking
Constantly juggling multiple tasks can leave us feeling rushed and frustrated when things don’t go as planned. Try to focus on one task at a time, fully engaging with the present activity. This not only increases your sense of accomplishment but also helps build patience by allowing you to enjoy the process rather than rushing toward completion.
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6. Reflect on Past Success with Patience
Remember previous times when patience and waiting a little longer paid off. Maybe it was a career opportunity, nurturing a relationship or embodying some change, like a wellness goal. Reflecting on past success reminds you of the value of patience, reinforcing that good things often take time and it encourages you to stay the distance.
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7. Engage in Patience-Cultivating Activities
There are certain activities that naturally foster and encourage greater patience and mindfulness. Practices such as gardening, meditation, yoga, or painting require sustained focus and a slow, deliberate pace. Engaging in these activities regularly helps train your mind to slow down, stay present, and develop patience over time.
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8. Seek to Bow Out of an Immediate Gratification Culture
Aim to challenge yourself to unhook from the desire for instant results. Challenge yourself to build a tolerance for waiting a little longer. Even small steps like waiting to check notifications, make purchases, or delaying rewards can foster and develop greater self-discipline.
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As with all things, the more you practice, the easier it becomes. Remember patience is not just about waiting - it’s also about cultivating a mindset of trust, persistence and acceptance. With patience you’ll learn to better ebb and flow with life and the circumstances you find yourself in.