Welcome, at long last to my Blog, aptly named the 'Success Pointer', as my intention here is to provide words of (hopefully ;-) ) wisdom, invitations to greater insight and reflection, and definately some inspiration for your greater action towards more of what you might like to be experiencing in your life and work. While on the subject of action, it's rather apt that this first instalment of writing lends itself to the idea of 'getting out of your way', as that's exactly what it has taken, to bring this blog to life.... finally! While it's something I have had in mind to make a start on for seriously the longest time - it never eventuated.... until now!
So what's all this about being in the way then...? Well, let me be candid - I've managed to stand in space and cast a shadow upon my own writing intent by doing what we humans do so often and usually so well. That is, entertaining a frame of limiting thinking constructed out of a series of rules that make it less possible to 'win' (aka, achieve what you really want to), versus getting going and making things happen.
As fingers met keyboard recently, I now see how I have harboured rules about what my blog would, should, could look like. How often and how long and other such criteria, that on any given day, I could easily refute getting started because how could I ever consistently measure up to the many boxes I had predicated needed to be ticked to make it possible. Sounds a little silly from this vantage point, but I'm being real here. It's true!
Yet now as I write (oops, type...), I'm reminded how much I actually might like and enjoy the process, and will even look forward to it. Well aren't we a funny lot... us humans I mean. We are just so good at 'blocking our own sun' sometimes. So often, we set up a series of rules or conditions that need to be met, before we'll allow ourselves to step up or step forward, to partake in the object of our desire. We expect ourselves to jump through a series of hoops that we've often also orchestrated (even if just in mind) that from to get-go, make it rather difficult, if not impossible to get started. And then we wonder why what we want is still out of reach, out there somewhere.
I realise starting a blog is but a small example of this idea in motion, but it's an example nonetheless. If we do it in one area, we might well do it in others. I wonder if as you read this, you can relate. Is there something, that if you're honest, you could admit to standing in your own way on?
A simple example that's easily relatable might be something like improving your fitness/wellness. While beneficial for everyone, some people manage to (seemingly easily) kick goal after goal here while others are challenged to get off the starting plate, no matter how much they intend it. What I find through my coaching work is usually the same set of themes. The first group makes it easy for themselves to 'win' on the objective, while the latter, like me with my blog, have a list of rules about what needs to happen and how, for it to count or measure up. The rules, or put another way 'conditions that need to be met' are of themselves not so much the issue, but rather - it's about the type of rules (conditions).
The first 'achieving' group in this example might be holding onto a frame of thinking that says something like..... 'anytime I do some movement that I enjoy or walk instead of drive or park that little bit further away or take the stairs or make a healthier food choice or enjoy some alcohol free days in a week or drink plenty of water or ensure I sleep well or do some deep breathing or partake in some scheduled exercise... etc (I think you get the idea) - I am winning on my fitness/wellness goal'.
The latter 'challenged' group might instead be thinking.... 'I'm not fit/well unless I can make it to the gym every day and really train hard and stop all sugar and banish alcohol and always get 10 hours of sleep and meditate every day and drink 2L of water daily and.... ' - (again, I think you get the idea).
So what's the difference? Well here's the summary:
To win with your goals/objectives, you'll want to:
- Identify plenty of ways to access your goal
- Make it easy for yourself to 'wet your feet' in your goal area by having lots of options on how it can be done. Plenty of ways to win with it means you have cover for contingencies and varying circumstances. At times, some things might be more possible than others. It still means you keep moving forward and scoring those runs.
- Align with the thinking that ANY of the ways is a win vs ALL of them
- This is so powerful in keeping the wind in the goal sails. There's a big difference between anytime I do A, B or C versus doing all of A, B and C before I let myself clock a run. The 'or' version gives me choice and control, and helps me stay on track. The 'and' version restricts me to just one option, a very long one at that, and one that's also hard to achieve consistently, leaving no space for changing circumstances.
- These things need to be simple relevant things
- Simplicity is king. While most goal-related work harps on specificity, this is one time where in broad brush-strokes, generalisations work for you, not against. Notice the difference between 'I win with my goal area.... anytime I go for a walk.... versus.... anytime I go for a 5km walk.' It's about making it so that you can do it easily, anytime, as often as you like with less restriction.
- They need to be things that you can control
- Something else we frequently get tangled up with is making our win contingent on things we don't control, like other people's input or the weather or other external circumstances. While external factors may play a role, it's more helpful to align yourself with that which you control exclusively as the yardstick on whether you're making good on your goal. You'll be far more motivated to keep going and excited about participating.
So back to my blog then.
Taking my own advice - my new improved 'blog frame' says the following:
"Anytime I share some writing that seeks to add value to the reader by bringing forward some new insight, learning, inspiration or motivation to enhance any aspect of their life and work, I am contributing positively through my blog and I can celebrate my intention of continuing to make a meaningful difference doing what I love"
And I'm really happy to hang my hat on that! ;-)